Chapter Excerpts
In 12 thematic chapters, "Ask Dr. Barb" covers a range of life challenges and situations from dating and marriage to family, workplace and social relationships.
Chapter 1 - Build a Stronger Self
Chapter 2 - Your Social Life
Fitting in: "Group dynamics are a part of all organizations — workplaces, sports teams and social circles. To understand a group, observe how decisions get made and how the group responds to the status quo and to change. With this understanding, one learns how best fit in."
On anxiety: "In order to cope with stress in a healthy way, one has to become aware of and learn to regulate self-defeating emotions, not by numbing the feelings of distress, but by being mindful of them and thinking and acting in a way that brings about calmness."
Chapter 3 - Getting Together
Chapter 4 - Enjoying Marriage
Effective communication: "In a marriage, it's vital. It allows each partner to assert his or her needs honestly and respectfully, and for the other to listen without judgment or defensiveness. Marital problems usually emerge when couples are not communicating well."
Dating: "Learning to distinguish a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one will be critical in finding a good match. Rushing into a romantic fling quickly is not always a wise choice; forming a relationship can be easy, but ending a bad one is a greater challenge."
Chapter 5 - Parental Guidance
Chapter 6 - The Terrible Teens
Substance use: "There is a lot of misinformation online and among peers who encourage drug use. By approaching a conversation calmly and showing open-minded curiosity, you can help your child learn to question sources and seek factual information."
On tech: "Parents should keep in mind that they model appropriate use of technology. If parents text while driving or replace family time with their own excessive social media use, kids will have difficulty trusting them. Without trust, cooperation will be less successful."
Chapter 7 - Almost Adults
Chapter 8 - All in the Family
Marital instability: "If children are the glue in an unstable marriage, the result is a relationship held together by fear, guilt and perceived social obligation. Both parents might feel failure in a 'broken home,' but the home is already broken if children bear the burden of unhappy parents."
Managing money: "Planning and preparing meals as a family can be fun. Shopping and cooking can be shared by all. Cooking at home saves money and teaches important time-management skills while also presenting a delicious challenge."
Chapter 9 - Handling Job Loss
Chapter 10 - Life Changes
On cancer: "I have experienced many moments of confusion and anxiety. In time, I was able to turn to my own favorite therapy approach, cognitive behavior modification. This method confronts irrational beliefs and ideas in order to minimize self-defeating emotions and behaviors."
Self-talk: "When you observe yourself making negative statements about this change in your life, be very mindful of those statements as well as thoughts that create fear and panic. A good practice is to replace self-doubting thoughts with positive, more hopeful attitudes about the future."
Chapter 11 - Food for Thought
Chapter 12 - Considering Others
Emotional eating: "Put a pen and a notebook by your bed and do a nightly 'stress dump' by writing down all negative things on your mind. With the bedside notebook, you also can get a head start on the next day by making a list of all the fun things you can do instead of eating."
Aiding change: "Individuals often must make many attempts before they succeed at maintaining healthy habits. It’s best not to consider a slip to be a failure, but a step back. One can succeed and then relapse. This means there's a need to reprocess and stay on track by going through the stages again."
